Hello Million Friends,

As you can see from my last post Lauritzen Gardens Art Exhibit I’ve been buzzzzzzzzi preparing and then hanging my first solo show. So I guess you could call me a PEMPAA, Post-Emerging Menopausal Pre-Ancient Artist. YEAH! I did it, and oh what a time we had. I should’ve videotaped the event.

In The Beginning

So I emailed my husband to notify him I would need his help. If I don’t email him, it’s considered a “drive-by” request, and that’s a no no in the IT world. However, I’m not in the IT world but I’ll play along and smile all the way. He’s more than happy to help. I’ve trained him well.

He’s a good guy and when I die, there will be more hot apple pies at our front door than you can imagine, if you catch my drift. He’ll have plenty of sniffling females to comfort him, so I’m making a list and checking it twice to be sure he gets a nice one.

A Day Dream

As I’m writing this, a daydream occurred to me so I may as well share. A reality show about a widower smitten by grief whose mission is to select his new bride, I mean nurse. There won’t be any “making out”, hotpool, or mud wrestling scenes and CPR will be mandatory.

When the cat fights start, women will be slinging girdles across the room, hiding wigs, walkers, wheel chairs and bunion pads. Accusations will fly, “You wear grandma pants”, “No I don’t!”, “When you shop for a bra, is it a 42C or a 42Long?”

They’ll know who he likes because she’ll be the one he drives to the store. Selecting a comfortable recliner for him will be one test. But the coup de gras will be a cook off. It will take him a long time to heal from me, because I’m so perfect.

Back to reality.  So, we crammed 41 pieces of art into our 4-door Honda Accord and headed east. My friend Rosemary was waiting for us, she helped as well. Here we come!!

Gone Fishing

After our arrival, we carried in my art and the woman that accepted me for the show was excited with the work I brought, and very helpful as she handed us a box of fishing wire, scissors, some very large hangers, and a couple ladders. Then she said Good Luck!!

Pardon me if this is an ignorant question, who in the heck hangs their fine art with fishing wire? A fisherman? No, but I did, and me no fisherwoman.

I did it because it was a requirement of the establishment. And I’m completely sympathetic to their cause. After all I wouldn’t want holes in the walls of my gallery every time an artist blows through for a show. All I’m saying is that it’s difficult when you’re not used to doing it.

Let’s Hang Some Art

Rosemary and I were on the same page as to how we were going to experiment and then proceed. I didn’t even need to finish my sentences with Rose, but Bill, my husband, had a different idea of how we could go about it. What else is new? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus and so it goes.

The big hooks were to hang on a rail at the top of the wall. Then we looped the wire around the wire on the back of the painting and hoisted it up to where we thought was about eye level. Tied at least three very tight knots and centered the paintings best we could.

It wasn’t the most ideal way to hang a painting because what happens is there’s no way to hang the paintings without having them pitch forward a bit - because they’re hanging so far from the hook at the top.

I did want the paintings to be hung in a certain order but when I realized they would all be pitching forward, it kind’ve burst my bubble. But we hung as best we could.

We called the manager out of her office and asked if this is right and she said yes, “Oh yes, you’re doing it the right way, we’re used to seeing them pitch forward.”

It took us six hours the first day and then Rose and I went back the next day to hang a few more. I even fixed a painting that needed a little touch of purple in the corner. In my prayers that night I said, “Dear God, please don’t let any of their visitors brush up against that wet painting.”

That first day, we didn’t tie one of the fishing wires tight enough and a painting fell, broke the frame, expensive lesson learned.

Field Bouncer

Last week I received an email from a gallery in London that spotted my Llama painting Field Bouncer at the website of SAATCHI Gallery asking me to participate in their Easter show.

Considering my options, it was cost prohibitive. I approached a gallery in Hamburg and they said my work would be appropriate for their gallery. Also, they required a $700.00 a month fee to be in the gallery. This isn’t a new concept so why am I surprised? Probably because I’m a PEMPAA.

The suffering, starving, proving your worth, cutting off your ear, or being sent to an asylum by your loving relatives are over. Just don’t forget the fishing wire!!

Photo Credit: qmnonic

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